


Business As Usual

by Dabchick



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Anal Fingering, Gunplay, Hypnosis, I implied that they have a prior arrangement but I didn’t outright say it, It gets the tag either way, It’s because hypnosis, Kaz Would Be A Terrible HR Department, M/M, Mild Ableism, Oral Sex, Public Blow Jobs, Rough Sex, Voyeurism, mild dub-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-04 04:13:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13356252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dabchick/pseuds/Dabchick
Summary: Nothing everhappenson the R&D platform. Doom Kudu is bored out of his mind.  Today there seems to be a very aggressive argument going on between Commander Miller and Revolver Ocelot, and watching that is probably the most excitement he’ll get all week.





	1. Chapter 1

Doom Kudu paced back and forth on his rounds, yawning. Nothing ever _happened_ on the R &D platform. There hadn't been any infiltrators from any rival PFs lately, and the Boss never really came by anymore now that he had a loadout he was happy with. So it was just day-in, day-out, keep an eye out for infiltrators, make sure no one stole anything... Kudu thumbed his scope idly. If you zoomed all the way in, you could see people on the other platforms. Every now and then he'd catch sight of a fellow Diamond Dog doing something amusing. Dancing to themselves, trading contraband, taking a piss off the top of the platform.

Today, the most interesting thing he could see was someone - Armored Vole, maybe? - flicking pennies into the ocean off of Intel. Slow day.

Oh, hey, was that Commander Miller way over on top of the Command Platform? Kudu zoomed in. Yes, that was definitely the Commander. What was he doing? Just... thinking, or something? He was alone, and standing there glaring at something Kudu couldn't see. Oh, wait, no, he wasn't alone, that was Ocelot coming up the ladder. This was a rare treat.. Why were they even meeting up there anyway? Usually they worked together from the signals room while the Boss was on a mission.

They were... arguing? Ocelot was smirking, the Commander seemed angry. But that was pretty much the normal state of affairs. Kudu sort of wished he'd known the Commander back during the MSF days. The few remaining Diamond Dogs from before always said the Commander was a fun-loving, adventurous, easy-going person. His own superior officer, Surging Eagle, said "Kaz" had been both worshiped and reviled among the female staff. But that was before. Now, he was constantly paranoid and in pain, and God help you got in an argument with him. Even the Boss usually deferred to him rather than risk his wrath. The only one who could hold his own against him was Ocelot.

Speaking of, this argument seemed to be getting physical. Miller shoved his crutch into Ocelot's stomach, and Ocelot let him knock him over. He couldn't have actually knocked him over, right? Commander Miller was a cripple who sat at his desk all day and Ocelot was _spetsnaz_ , if the rumors were to be believed. Ocelot had to be playing along here. Why, though? Did even _Ocelot_ let Miller win arguments on purpose?

Ocelot got up to his knees and said something with a leer. Commander Miller slapped him right across the face.

Kudu stared dumbfounded, sort of at a loss for what to do. Was this normal? Should he call it in?

Ocelot spat, off to the side, before turning back to Miller and saying something Kudu couldn't hear. Whatever it was, Miller didn't seem happy. He grabbed the front of Ocelot's shirt and leaned down to speak menacingly into his ear. Kudu was about to decide he didn't need to see whatever weird overly-aggressive arguments they had in semi-private, when the Commander pulled his _gun_ out and pointed it at Ocelot.

Kudu nearly dropped his scope in his hurry to turn on his radio.

"Sir? It's Kudu," Kudu said quickly.

"This is Surging Eagle. What is it?" Eagle's voice scratched over the radio with just a hint of that Lanzhou accent she’d never managed to kick completely.

Kudu watched the Commander point his pistol right between Ocelot's eyes. Ocelot's smirk was gone. He was wide-eyed, and he looked like he was babbling, trying to say something to placate the Commander.

"I think the Commander is about to kill Revolver Ocelot," Kudu said in a rush. He wasn't really sure what they could do from here, but Eagle could call it in to the Command Platform and then -

Eagle _laughed_. "Oh, that? That used to happen every other week. I'm surprised you haven't seen it before." She chuckled quietly. "Don't worry, you will see. What are they doing now?"

"What are you talking about?" Kudu demanded. "Sir, Ocelot is one trigger-pull away from death. Shouldn't we do something?"

"We should watch. It's going to be quite a show. But you have to narrate _everything_ you see, Kudu, that is an order." Kudu could hear her smile over the radio.

He gulped. "Um. I mean, sir, the Commander seems really serious. His gun is pointed right at Ocelot's head."

"And what is Ocelot doing?" Eagle asked.

"He's - oh."

"Go on."

"He's, uh, he's kissing the barrel. And now he's - oh. Oh, wow, Ocelot can really fit a lot of that in there." Kudu's eyes felt like they were going to burn out of his skull. Ocelot would _kill him_ if he knew he was watching. And yet now all he could think about was how much he regretted not being assigned to the Intel team.

"I told you," Eagle said smugly. "That gun probably isn't even loaded." She sighed, a staticky crackle. "They used to do this all the time, before the Boss came back. They would get under each other's skin constantly, annoy each other to death, but it was obvious to anyone watching how they'd always end up in a room alone together after a big fight."

"Should I still be watching this?" Kudu asked. “Miller’s cock is all the way down Ocelot’s throat and I’m pretty sure either one of them will literally shoot me if they find out I’m looking."

"No, they’ll shoot both of us. I gave you the order to look.” Eagle said. Then, wistfully, she went on, "This brings me back. I’m sad I'm not there watching with you."

Kudu continued to stare, transfixed. “Miller pulled Ocelot off of him and they’re turned away now but I think he’s jerking Ocelot off. Ah, now they’re tuning." A brief pause. "Wow, Ocelot turns _really_ red. What the hell is the Commander _doing_ to him?"

Eagle laughed again. "Half the staff _hated_ Ocelot for the first few weeks after this started happening. Kaz? Kaz is _good_. When Ocelot suddenly started taking up a lot of his time, lots of people got really upset that he didn't come see _them_ anymore."

"Ocelot just swept the Commander’s legs, it looks like they're fighting over who's gonna be on top. Oh shit, his crutch - oh no, wait, Ocelot caught it. Thought it was gonna skitter off the building." Kudu put a palm up to his forehead. "I honestly don't know how I'm going to be able to stare either of them in the eye after this."

"It can't be as bad as it was in the 70s. If my former colleagues could look Kaz in the eye after they _actually fucked_ , then this can't be so bad. When _Kazuhira Miller_ is your support, you can only rely on yourself to deal with anything unprofessional. Which actually happened a _lot_ back then." Eagle sighed longingly. "Yes, I miss those days, before it all was blown up."

Kudu didn't respond.

"What's going on down there?" Eagle asked. "You've been quiet for some time. Enjoying the show?"

"Ocelot is going to kill me," Kudu whispered.

"Oh, come on, he already had us all by the metaphorical balls before. Another secret can't do that much damage."

"Well, before, I hadn't seen him get his face ground into the tarmac by the Commander. And _fuck_ is he ever enjoying it. Miller's humping him, he's humping the ground... This is ridiculous. It's a good thing the Commander is holding his head down - if Ocelot looks up he'll be looking right at me. Oh shit -" Kudu threw himself behind a pillar and sank down, holding his head. "Fuck. Eagle, I know everyone said the Commander was some kind of sex god back in the day, but I never thought - Ocelot -"

"You've only seen Ocelot from the wrong end of the brig, hmm?" Eagle said wryly.

"Well, yeah, but actually I meant I thought he had a thing for the Boss. I mean, more than the rest of us have a thing for the Boss."

"Oh, he does. But he'd never act on it. He hardly ever interacts with him, at least not alone. My theory is something bad happened to them in the past - had you heard they used to be enemies?"

"Who here _didn't_ used to be the Boss's enemy?" Kudu muttered.

"Fair enough. Did you know he was the one who shot out his eye?"

Kudu frowned. "Now you're bullshitting me."

"I heard it from Vicious Swan, who heard it from Kaz himself," Eagle said, as if that settled the matter. "But you've been quiet for a while. What's going on out there?"

Kudu risked peeking around the pillar. "Well, they're gone now. Now we hope Ocelot doesn't slit both our throats in our sleep."

"Damn. No, I don’t think he will. He and the Commander are both clever enough to realize they were outdoors in plain view of at least three Diamond Dogs. You'll be fine." Eagle sighed. "Back to our normal patrol. Hey, maybe we’ll be fultoned somewhere new before they fulton us back."

Kudu grumbled, sighed, and zoomed back out. Nothing interesting ever _happened_ on the R &D platform.


	2. Chapter 2

How long was this bastard going to make him wait? Kaz paced on the roof of the Command Platform, scowling as he waited for Ocelot.

It hadn’t taken Kaz long to find out there was something wrong with Snake. It _had_ taken him a while to figure out that Ocelot didn’t seem to know. Even longer to figure out that he _did_ actually know, he was only hypnotizing himself into not knowing. It had required all of Kaz's skills as a negotiator to convince Ocelot to give him the trigger words to bring Ocelot out of it. Still, progress.

He still hadn’t gotten him to give him the original Snake’s location, nor Venom Snake's trigger words to bring him out of hypnosis. But Kaz could be very persistent. He'd get them.

Just how long was Ocelot going to make him wait for it?

Ocelot's boots made little clinking noises as he climbed the ladder. Kaz ground his teeth. That pointy little _asshole_ really took his sweet time doing anything. Made people wait for him. By the time he made it up the ladder to where Kaz was waiting, Kaz was about ready to strangle him. But, what else was new?

"Ocelot. Can we skip the bullshit negotiation today? You're going to tell me Venom's trigger words eventually anyway, so why don't we skip the boring part and go straight to the end?"

Ocelot was smiling blankly. Kaz's fingers tightened around his crutch. It was going to be one of _these_ days. Hypnotized Ocelot was honestly worse to deal with than the original. Not only did he keep every ounce of arrogant bitchiness he had un-hypnotized, he also had some fail-safe trigger in him that would change him into full-on douchebag mode if any topic approached what Ocelot wasn't allowed to think about. To make anyone asking get tired of it, he supposed. Ocelot's vapid smile changed into a smirk, and he casually pulled out a revolver and twirled it as he got closer. "Now hold on, Miller. What the hell do you think you're talking about? I don't control the Boss any more than you do. Never could."

Kaz batted aside Ocelot's revolver angrily. "Can I speak to slightly-less-annoying Ocelot, please? I know he's in there somewhere." Kaz picked up his cane and shoved it as fast and hard as he could into Ocelot's stomach. Ocelot fell unceremoniously to the ground. That was the other thing - Ocelot insisted his hypnosis didn't have bad side-effects. But his reaction time sure seemed like shit. Either that or Ocelot had trained himself not to block Kaz's cane smacks. Which was possible, actually.

The slightest hint of frustration flashed on Ocelot's face before it settled back into its smiling mask. Ocelot pulled himself up to a kneeling position. "Oh, Miller," Ocelot said, his voice dripping condescension, "why do you think _you'd_ be trusted with something that sensitive? You _did_ betray Big Boss to Cipher, didn't you? Or was I asleep for that part of 1974?"

Kaz's hand shot out and slapped Ocelot before he was even aware of the decision. Fuck him. _Fuck_ him for bringing that up - as if they hadn't gone over it a million times and as if Ocelot didn't know _perfectly_ where his loyalties lay. Kaz's crutch dropped to the ground, forgotten. Ocelot stayed still and blinked for a few moments, and when he turned back to Kaz his eyes were sharper, crueler. Ah, so the claws were out now.

"It's a good thing Skull Face didn't offer you any money or you'd have gone and sucked _his_ dick for GMP too, after that worked out so well for you with Zero -"

Kaz leaned down, grabbed the front of Ocelot's shirt and yanked their faces together. Ocelot let him - again, a hypnosis side effect, or Ocelot letting him, whatever, he didn't care - until Kaz leaned into his ear and growled Ocelot's trigger words.

The effect on Ocelot was immediate and massive, he started rocking back and forth and muttering to himself. Fine. Kaz could wait. As Ocelot set his mind up correctly, Kaz idly pulled out his own pistol and thumbed the safety off. There was never any telling which Ocelot he'd get with this, and if he had to deal with the one that he got last time, well... It couldn't hurt to be prepared. Last time Kaz left with a black eye, a broken nose, and several dislocated fingers. Not this time. This time, he was going to get Ocelot to _talk_. Kaz stood up and calmly leveled the gun right between Ocelot's eyes.

Ocelot finally stilled. He looked up at Kaz with dilated eyes, then turned his focus to the pistol. Kaz opened his mouth to remind him what he wanted when Ocelot started mouthing the end of the barrel.

Oh. Great. Today was slutty Ocelot.

Well, that's better than overly-sadistic torture Ocelot. Two could play at this game. Kaz put the safety back on while Ocelot flicked his tongue out to lick the muzzle. The two of them locked eyes, Kaz raised his eyebrows at him and Ocelot deliberately nodded his head twice before opening his mouth and sucking gently on the tip. His eyelids fluttered in this fucking sultry gaze, and he was making this _purring_ sound in the back of his throat. Huh. Kaz could get used to this Ocelot. Kaz spent a few minutes getting Ocelot to take the entire barrel, just repeatedly pushing it in and out of his mouth, going an iota deeper each time. When Ocelot was managing the whole thing without trouble, he pulled it out and replaced it with his semi-hard cock.

Ocelot gagged loudly, and that shouldn’t have been as hot as it was. Kaz let out a single groan before he got a hold of himself, grabbed a fistful if Ocelot’s hair, and started unceremoniously fucking his mouth.

If he went at the right pace, Ocelot could work wonders with his tongue. Too bad he wasn’t going to go at the right pace. He thrust in and out as fast as he could without actually injuring him or falling over. Ocelot kept up for as long as he could but was clearly struggling after a minute or two. His hands gripped Kaz’s thighs for dear life, and he was making this plaintive whine every time Kaz gave him more than half a second to catch his breath.

When he deemed Ocelot to be sufficiently wrecked, he pulled out, knelt down, and reached into Ocelot’s pants.

He wasn't surprised to find Ocelot rock-hard, and he stroked him once, _tight_ , before murmuring into Ocelot's ear. "You're going to give me Venom Snake's trigger words, Ocelot," he said quietly. He pitched his voice deep and low, a tone like honey that he knew affected Ocelot more than Ocelot ever showed on his face. Ocelot responded with a strangled moan. Kaz started moving his hand, but slowly, gently, far lighter than he knew Ocelot liked. Ocelot passively let him manipulate him until he was bright red and panting, his mouth opening and closing in stuttered gasps. With his hand on Ocelot's cock, Kaz licked at the shell of Ocelot's ear and hummed, "The trigger words, Ocelot. Now."

"Nnnn -" Ocelot shook his head, shuddered, struggled a bit. For a few moments, anger flashed across his face, and the next thing Kaz knew, the world was spinning and he was lying on the ground, staring up at a panting Ocelot. "Fuck you," Ocelot snarled.

"Fuck _you_ ," Kaz spat into his face and used all of his strength to roll them over. It would never work if Ocelot were at 100%, but he hadn't been at 100% since he brought the Boss back and he certainly wasn’t even at half that right now. They wrestled for a little while, and Kaz was _absolutely not_ above distracting Ocelot by grinding his hard cock against him or smacking his ass when it was practical. Kaz needed every edge he could get.

Apparently today it was enough. Ocelot ended up face down on the platform with Kaz grinding into him from above him. A hand on the back of his neck was all that was needed to keep Ocelot from escaping, and from here he could hiss into Ocelot's ear again - " _Fuck_ you and your mind games, Ocelot." He shoved his face hard into the tarmac. "How long are you going to make me wait?" Another shove. "I've _more than_ proven myself and _you're_ more of a liability than me at this point." He scraped Ocelot's face along the floor and ground his hips down at the same time, smiling viciously at the drawn-out groan that drew from Ocelot. "Give them to me, Ocelot."

"Haaa-" Ocelot gasped. "Nnnnice try. You... can't... have... them."

Kaz growled frustratedly. He grabbed Ocelot's hair and _yanked_ him up. "What do I need to do to change your mind?" he demanded.

Ocelot glanced back at him. He was gasping, and drooling a little bit, and there were blackened marks on his cheek from where it rubbed against the ground. Kaz wasn't sorry. "Millerrrr... be reasonable," Ocelot slurred.

Reasonable. Alright, Kaz could do reasonable. This was all just foreplay anyway. With effort, he stood up and hauled Ocelot by the hair toward the door to the core of the platform. Once Ocelot started helping enough to walk under his own power, the two of them lurched down the hall to Kaz's personal quarters. The second the door slid closed behind them, Ocelot was all over him, sliding off his coat and getting to work removing his dress uniform. He pressed his lips to Kaz's mouth, but Kaz turned to the side so he kissed his cheek instead. He wasn't about to let Ocelot distract him.

Kaz started maneuvering them back toward the bed. Ocelot had gotten his shirt off by the time they got there, and was sucking on Kaz's neck. When Ocelot's knees hit the bed, he flopped backward, and Kaz, ready for this, snatched a pair of handcuffs off of an overturned box from the _last_ time something like this had happened, and fastened Ocelot's right arm to the headboard.

Ocelot's eyes widened. "Kaz, what... do you think..."

"I'm being reasonable," Kaz snapped. "I'm sure we can come to an arrangement. So this is me, reasoning. You're not leaving this room until you give me the words."

Ocelot smiled wickedly and literally _batted his eyelashes_. "I bet I can change your mind," he said.

Kaz clambered on top of him. "Try, then," he challenged.

Ocelot made a good run of it, to be fair. By the end of it, Kaz had come twice, and Ocelot's hair was sticky and mussed. Kaz was well-satisfied, and Ocelot was exhausted. His stamina had fallen to shit at about the same time he started pumping himself full of drugs on a regular basis, and Kaz knew from experience that Ocelot usually fell asleep for hours after coming out of the hypnosis, before fixing whatever it was that needed fixing and then putting himself back under.

Kaz wouldn't let him sleep, though. Not yet. Kaz slowly fingered him, enjoying the way Ocelot moaned every time his fingers dragged over his oversensitive inner walls.

"Miller, please," Ocelot groaned weakly.

Kaz stilled his fingers. "Those aren't the magic words," he purred. He bent down and bit Ocelot's nipple, already red and marked. Ocelot arched off the bed into his mouth, though the sensation couldn't have been at all pleasurable by this point. Kaz held on as Ocelot tossed and turned, used his free hand in a feeble attempt to push him off. Kaz started moving his fingers in his ass again and worried Ocelot's flesh with his teeth at the same time, and Ocelot shuddered violently before collapsing back to the bed.

For a brief moment, Kaz was worried he had passed out, but his eyes were open and he was breathing hard, just staring up at the ceiling, exhausted.

"Come on, Ocelot," he said quietly. "I'm not going to ruin the master plan. I just want to be able to talk to him." He pulled his hand out of Ocelot and trailed his fingers lightly up Ocelot's chest. "Please?"

Ocelot gazed up at him. He could just barely focus, from the looks of things. "Promise me one thing," Ocelot breathed.

"Mm?"

Ocelot dragged himself back up to sitting. "Don't use them until I say you can," he said seriously.

Kaz considered him. It was an odd condition for Ocelot to add - he wasn't usually in the business of relying on people's promises. Still, this was enough, for now. "Alright," he said.

Ocelot told them to him. Kaz repeated them and nodded. Fucking _finally_.

Kaz bent down and blew him sweetly, using every trick he knew to bring Ocelot to a blissful completion. In his state, he barely lasted a minute. When he was done, Kaz kissed him thoroughly, coaxing Ocelot’s tongue into his mouth and drawing from him a deeply satisfied smile.

Positive reinforcement.

Ocelot pawed limply at the cuff still tying him to the bed. "Kaz... can I...?"

"Sleep here? Sure. Do you want anything else?" he asked.

Ocelot shook his head. Kaz unlocked the cuffs and Ocelot curled in on himself and slept.

The next day, everything went back to normal. Kaz fetched Ocelot's drugs from his quarters and Ocelot did whatever he did to make himself forget again. Kaz would give it a few weeks, wait for a good opportunity, and then finally ask Ocelot where in the living _fuck_ Snake was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now with bonus epilogue in chapter 3!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus chapter because I thought of it earlier today!

Three days had passed, and Doom Kudu still hadn't been strangled in his sleep, so he was starting to think that maybe somehow Ocelot hadn't found out that he had seen the whole episode with Commander Miller. He'd been avoiding Intel on the principle that if he didn't actually see Ocelot, maybe he wouldn't know about him. And maybe he'd be able to finally get those images out of his mind. But it had been _days_.

Imagine his surprise when Miller called him to his office on the Command Platform.

"Come in, Kudu," Miller called when he pressed the buzzer.

Kudu had only been in Miller's office once before, when he had first agreed to employment with Diamond Dogs. Back then, the Commander was still recovering from his wounds, and his things had been strewn all around his office, stacks of papers with scrawled writing covering every inch of floor, desk, and bed. Now, months later, it was pretty much the same, only the stacks were taller.

Miller's desk, though, was meticulously organized. Each stack of paper was taller than it was wide, but there wasn't a single page askew or out of place. Miller himself sat poring over what looked like a requisition for some kind of grenade launcher. Doom Kudu resisted the urge to bite his lip as he waited for Miller to finish his work. There was still a chance this meeting was about something different. Kudu tried to shove away the image of Ocelot's cheeks hollowed around the Commander's dick.

Miller signed the paper he had in front of him, pushed it to the side, and pressed a button on the table. The door behind Kudu clicked. Kudu gave in and bit the inside of his cheek nervously. Miller looked unflappable, though. He regarded him evenly. "Doom Kudu," he said. "It's come to my attention that you witnessed some events that would have been better private."

Doom Kudu felt a trickle of sweat on his brow. "Sir?" he said in what he hoped was a convincingly confused tone.

"Don't bother hiding it. I know which posts we could be seen from. Did you talk to anyone else about it?" Light reflected off of Miller's aviators into Kudu's eyes.

Fuck. Kudu really didn't want to throw Eagle under the bus, but if she had been interviewed separately... he gulped, hoped that he wasn't about to be executed, and said reluctantly, "Yes, sir. Surging Eagle, my squad leader."

Miller sat back in his chair. "Good, you told the truth. That's a point in your favor."

"In my favor, sir?"

Miller grabbed his crutch and pushed himself up onto his feet with visible effort. He paced up to stand directly in front of Kudu. "You're not the first person to see what you saw. You won't be the last. It's not a secret."

Kudu could sense a 'but' coming.

"But some scum in the past thought they could blackmail us with it. Threaten us. I think they're in the ocean now. I'm not sure, though, they might be the ones Ocelot's been using to practice new ideas on. They're pretty disfigured, it's hard to tell."

Kudu paled. "Sir, does Ocelot -"

"Oh, Ocelot knows. He wanted to have this conversation with you downstairs. I thought you could be reasoned with." Miller was no taller than him and was missing two limbs, but the way he stood made Kudu feel like he was towering over him, like he was about to rip his throat out. "So, Doom Kudu, can you be reasoned with?"

In that one moment, Kazuhira Miller frightened him more than Revolver Ocelot ever had.

"Sir, I would never threaten you with that. It's not my business. I'm just here to follow Big Boss."

Miller scrutinized him, taking in his entire appearance, from his boots that _he really needed to polish again_ to his uniform that was crisp save for a wrinkled sleeve because of _course_ he'd be wearing the wrinkled one when he got called in to talk to Commander Miller. Of course.

Finally, Miller said, "Alright, then. Good. You're dismissed."

Doom Kudu released the breath he'd been holding. He turned to leave, hardly daring to believe that he'd live out the day. Then, a thought crossed his mind.

"Sir?" he asked on his way out.

"What is it?" Miller asked distractedly as he limped back to his chair.

"I'd like to request a transfer to Intel."

Miller actually _laughed_ , which was a sound Kudu had honestly never heard before. "That bastard _is_ good, isn't he? I'll think about it. Go back to your post."

Kudu went back to his post. Once the adrenaline had worn off, he sighed and pulled out his scope. Nothing ever _happened_ on the R &D platform.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned next time for Part 2: Doom Kudu Goes To Outer Heaven Circa 1995.
> 
> Also, let me know if any tags or dates or ratings are missing! Somehow my first upload of this didn't work out well. Probably because I did most of it on my phone.


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